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BOND of Love

February is a month most of the youngsters today look forward to. It is the month of love, the valentine month. Every street corner is lit with red hearts and every youth is busy preparing to impress the person they love.

Well I am not going to write anything about Valentine’s Day or the pros and cons of it. What I intend to share today is a more pure and refined form of love and that is marriage. Off late there is a lot complains and discussions from both the married and the unmarried regarding the bond of love and institution of marriage and this inspired me to write this article.

I have been married for over 3 years and while I lead a beautiful family life, there are a few points which youngsters like us forget when we enter the wedlock.

Let God be the Centre of the Marriage: As a young couple initially we had no time for God. Our outing and enjoyment took center stage. Eventually the romance and passion faded problems started Creeping up in life and that is when I realized the cause of the problem was not lack of love but it was the lack of God in our life. That is when as a wife I took the lead to bring God into our marriage. No matter where we were or what we were doing, we spend at least a few minutes in prayer and then I noticed a complete change in our relationship. It is not important who takes the lead or your spouse is not interested to pray but you have the power to draw them near to God. So from today spend some time as a couple to pray and this would definitely keep the foundations of your marriage strong.

Be a Spouse first later a friend: You may have heard people say be friends first and then a spouse, well I beg to differ and in marriage be a spouse first and then a friend. I say this because friendship definitely has a lot of limitations and boundaries whereas it is only with the spouse that you cross the boundaries and an inseparable emotional, physical and spiritual bond is formed. Always remember to keep your spouse above your friends. You may have been best friends for years together but once your spouse enters your life they take the preference in your life. In today’s world many of us are friends with the opposite sex and it is totally fine but it causes problems when you give importance to them and start ignoring your spouse. Let your spouse be the most important person in your life.

Encourage Each Other: The most important rule of any relationship is to encourage each other even in small things. Off late we see there is competition everywhere. Let your marriage be a competition. Encourage and appreciate every small accomplishment so that they are inspired to do more. Do not ridicule or make fun when they stumble and fall or do not succeed but encourage them to overcome the failures and achieve their goals.

Give Time for Each Other: We live in a very busy world and with hectic schedules spending time with our spouse takes a back seat. Let us try and find some quality time for our spouse in our busy lives, it does not mean spending time does not Spending time does not mean shopping or movies or going on a long holiday, it can also be spending time in the house sharing the household chores. Though my husband and I do not have packed schedules yet we get carried away by the daily routine. We do ensure to spend some quality time either by just playing a game or baking a cake together brings us closer and discovers each other’s potential as well.

Genuine Care: Genuine care for each other is what is missing in our society today. In a marriage it is of utmost importance to care for each other. When your spouse is sick make time to sit by their side. When your spouse is away call to check on them and assure them of your prayers. Every small gesture will take your relationship a long way.

Stop Comparing: Last but not the least do not compare your relationship with that of others. Most of the time what we see is not what it is. When I am in a group and I see all other husbands display affection on their wives publicly I have looked on with envy and compared my husband with them and tell him that they love their wives more than my husband loves me. It is later that I understood that displaying public affection should not be mistaken for true love and every relationship is different and stopped the comparison.

As we gear up to celebrate Valentine’s Day and the month of love let us try to make our family relationships stronger. Let the bond of love grow stronger with passing time.

Sonal Lobo

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