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The Game of fitting in

We live in a world where we are constantly asked to fit in. Well before sharing my thoughts I would want to make it clear that there is a huge difference between fitting in and adjusting. Most of the time we adjust so that others may be happy, but we try to fit in so that we are happy.

When we walk around in some of the busy streets we surely get to witness it, especially the youngsters try to portray themselves to be something which they are actually not. On one particular day when I had been to a café with my friend I could see a group of teenagers mostly between 16 to 17 years, sitting on the next table and chatting loudly. They were so loud that they were almost creating a ruckus. One particular girl caught my attention. She was dressed in a rather too short skirt and crisp top she was looking pretty but every time I was seeing her I noticed that she was busy adjusting and pulling her skirt. It was quiet obvious that she was not comfortable in what she was wearing and she had dressed up so just to fit in to that group.

This incident made me realize my own college life, having studied in an esteemed college I had come across this prejudice quiet often. Whenever I choose to wear a simple salwar people would question me as to whether I actually went to that college, because almost everyone in that college were seen dressing up stylishly. Even worse was when elders who are supposed to guide the young minds instill in them the sense of prejudice. I very well remember when I was studying in degree, we were a group of 8 girls who were quiet close. We roamed around studied and had fun together. But the problem was that we were not the so called hippie girls who followed the fashion trends, who had perfectly manicured nails and hanged around with boys. It was a sad state that almost the entire class had black listed us because we were sincere and never bunked the class or simple because we sat in the first bench. Even sadder was that the teachers who had appreciate us for our sincerity and hard work used to laugh and mock. But has the saying goes hard work always pays, all of us friends today are very successful managing our respective careers and balancing perfectly our talents and family for the progress of society, but it’s sad to see some of our classmates who made fun of us are nowhere in life, suffering a failure in career and relationship.

One must never ever give up ones true identity just to fit in somewhere or be accepted by an elite social groups. Remember God created us uniquely and blessed us with certain traits so that we may project ourselves just the way we are rather than trying to be a photocopy of someone else. The youngsters today are so influenced by the media that they have started believing that dressing up stylishly, following the latest fashion trends, carrying costly mobiles, hanging around in pubs and dancing is the only way to survive.

Well I am not against it one needs to dress up beautifully but modestly. Going around with friends is not crime, but what becomes our priority is very important. We need not have to look up to anyone for inspiration. Jesus Christ was the king of heaven and earth, he could have dressed up and choose to live in the palace. He could have roamed around with the Sadducees and Pharisees just to be accepted by the society. But he did not do so, he lived a life of simplicity and preferred the company of poor, sick and the outcasts. His only aim was to fulfil the purpose of God the father.

Each one of us is entrusted with certain responsibilities and fulfilling them should be out top priority. Above all we should respect ourselves. When we love ourselves and accept the way we are, then we need to have to take efforts to fit in cause if the situation is right for us we will automatically fit in. Finally as elders let us not compel the younger generation to abide by the baseless norms of the society but help them to create their own identity under the shadow of god’s presence.

Sonal Lobo

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