Then Jesus said to his disciples “If anyone wants to come with me, he must forget self, carry his cross and follow me” (Mathew 16:24). Yes we need to know that when we choose to follow Christ we no more can live for our self. We need to dedicate our life to Christ and his kingdom. The Lord is at work in each and every one who follows him. He is all holy and to be with Christ we need to be holy. For our purification the Lord allows trials in our life. The more the trials – the more the purification. Human mind will never understand God’s ways. He is all wonderful for he is a good God. All that he does is good. Even when he allows sufferings – it is his love – for he cares for you. We may be sad for a little while, but endurance in Christ will give us eternal happiness. “Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while, because of the many kinds of trials you suffer. Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine” (Peter 1:6, 7).
Suffering is not a punishment from God. It is his love through which we are purified, melted, molded and made worthy to possess salvation which leads to eternal happiness. We need to depend more and more on the Lord and cling to him. In times of trials we need to stand firm in him and trust in him for – Jesus Never Fails. “Everyone will hate you because of me. But not a single hair from your heads will be lost. Stand firm, and you will save yourselves” (Luke 21:17-19).
I can be a witness for all the teachings of the Lord. The Lord allowed strong trials one after another in my life. And through every trial I only saw victory. I had to go through these severe trials. All that I did is – I surrendered to the Lord and submitted to his will and I can tell you he never let me down or failed me. After every trial, he went on lifting me up spiritually more and more. As I said – more the trails, more is the purification. Endurance during the course of the trials only makes your faith stronger and stronger in Jesus. The Lord has always given me the cross to carry. Though the cross became more and more heavy each day, today I have learnt that I shall never be defeated because I follow Jesus.
The Lord loves you so much that he pinches you where it hurts you the most. He does this because when it hurts you it pains you more and when it pains you more you cling to the Lord more and more. And in the end when you look back you come to know that you’ve suffered nothing compared to the blessings he pours upon you spiritually. Through these sufferings he makes you what he wants you to be. We can do nothing without him, but with him we can do all things. After having gone through all the severe trials he used me more and more for his kingdom.
Great are his works which he did through me. And now he has lifted my wife from this world who was so dear to me. Her life in this world was so pleasing to him that he did not want to leave her more in this wicked world. She was so dear to me that it would have been impossible for me to live without her. But God’s Spirit in me and his grace was above everything and by His Spirit and grace I’m able to live and continue with the mission he has entrusted me. Though it was impossible for me, nothing is impossible for the Lord. That is what is happening in my life and today I can say – he is good to the one that he loves the most.
Fortunate are the ones who undergo all these trials, carrying the cross, trusting in him and depending on him. He is all merciful and kind. Today I thank the Lord for having given me such a wonderful person, Cynthia to be my wife for 33 years. He was so kind to me that he did not take her away when my children were small. Both of us had the fullness of life, serving his holy kingdom for the past 24 years.
The Lord brought us together and used us together for His holy kingdom. Great were the works he performed through both of us. He used us both as a couple for the evangelization work and together we carried the evangelization work not only in Bangalore, but all over the world. Both of us carried on the work by his grace and by his power. Today she having gone, the whole burden of the evangelization work lies on me alone but nothing is impossible to the Lord. Having dedicated my life to Him, by His grace and by His Spirit, the work of evangelization will go on not by my power, but by His power that operates in me.
Today I do miss my wife, but the joy in me is of her achieving and fulfilling her given task. She has gone from this world to receive the reward of the crown of eternal glory. As she served the Lord till her last breath, let it be so with me that the Lord may use me till my last breath to serve His holy kingdom.